Hong Kong Blog

Well hello boys and girls. This is Heaney boy reporting for duty. So the last couple of week’s events have been fruitful. I have been sorting out a trip to Thailand with my boy Alan in Easter which is going to be without a doubt bloody amazing. Just after that I have my mom, pops and family in tow coming my way to grace me with their company. Also my mates are coming over for a month after the family leave which should be a great laugh, although I don’t think any of the above is going to help me those impending exams passed :-/

I have just started my week after finishing the biggest sleep of my life. The weekend was the most relaxed of my life and I loved it. I am non-stop over here, after work I am out and about and the weekends are more like a test of my body more than anything else to see how far I can push it without being hospitalised. But not this weekend. Oh no. I went round my mate Gary’s house on Friday for a drink and a laugh, I ended up kipping on his wooden floor for 3 hrs that night so I was half human the next day. I mustered the energy to make my way home the following morning declining the invite to basketball, which at the time given my current state seemed as inviting as pulling my nails from their roots. Once cocooned in my boudoir it didn’t take long before I was out like a light, I put in some good ground work that day for the record of the worlds longest sleep. I awoke and watched Pans Labyrinth with Rich before pulling an all-nighter and sleeping the following day at 8 in the morning, needless to say I gave footie a pass the next day and decided to try and break the record I managed to set the previous day. I norm consider excess sleep a waste of a good life but Jesus Christ it was amazing and well needed.

I had a massive cock-up last week as well. I met some blindingly fit bird in the lift and thought to myself “Weheey, good way to start a day”. This bird must have been trying to set a land speed record judging by her quick paced walking though. Keen as I was not to let this baby fly the coup I decided to show her what quick feet were really about. We hit the stairs with her having a good head start over myself but my middle name is Stairs mainly due to the fact I can traverse them quicker than any other human alive. Granted I have not tried to hit the 100% proficiency mark in the new shoes I had imported from England, but after all my middle name is Stairs So here I was beginning to burn-up much as you would imagine an asteroid doing so as it renters the atmosphere due to the sonic speeds these little babies that carry me around were doing. It was then disaster struck as I overtook her, fxxked up and things went really tits up. I was doing 88mph (and for anyone who has seen Back to the Future that is just enough speed to see some serious shit) without any footing and was hoping I would land in a big hole that would swallow me so I would never have to show my face in public again. Instead of doing a face-plant I opted to lunge and grab the readily available wall rail and as luck would have it I managed to time my cursing just as she walked by, ensuring that in the unlikely event that I had managed to save a shred of dignity it was now to safe to say it was long gone. I am sure she appreciated the big skinhead shouting “Fuck” in her face first thing in the morning just almost as much as I appreciate almost killing myself on the way to work.

We had a Spring dinner the other night that was real hoot. I am sure Richard knows what is coming and will appreciate me telling the events so here goes. The Spring dinner was to be held on the Wed so after getting out of work I went straight there to help set the thing up. It was real good and I even managed to doctor the speech so I got a mention about how the whole thing would not have been possible without me, even though I was only supposed to sort out the English grammatical errors. So dinner went ahead as planned and the living legend that is Isaac had us all in stitches. No words I mention here will ever do justice too Isaac, just know the boy is hilarious. He claimed to win the raffle twice with the same ticket, physically impossible but he still had a few people going. He also got speaking to me so I missed the numbers called and then he told me I won, I was ecstatic and stood up only to hear the arse had made me out to be an idiot. I love him though. Without a doubt though the highlight of the evening was Richard singing Chinese opera… or maybe not. I told this bird Rich would love to sing but Rich replied “No, I can only sing Chinese opera”. Now believing that anyone in their right mind could smell that heap of bullshit even from across the waters nobody could have see what was coming next. This bird opted to stand and bang out a number for everyone and goddamn it she had the voice of an angel. She then said “I have a special someone who wants to come and join me”, now it did cross my mind for a split second she could mean Richy boy but I thought no way. Turns out she did mean Rich. Well the whole room exploded and I got to my feet and started yelling “Hoe ging” (it means very powerful in Cantonese) and joined the whole room as they clapped manically with every pair of eyes in that room on Rich. I could actually see Rich bricking it, as we grew louder the more he seemed to withdraw. His eyes darted around the room frantically as I could see this was his worst nightmare and he was praying this was not a reality. Then without warning the whole room fell into silence as we all anxiously waited to hear the words that would next come from his mouth. It was then Rich tried to get the word “No” out, but this simple word was beyond him at this point. Instead a high-pitched banshee whale come out that was the start of the word no but broke off to a really, really and I mean really high pitched girly sound. I was in fxxking stitches and I could tell from Richs face he was not impressed, I knew this was a massive strain on our friendship and at this point as he was calling me every variety of swear words he could muster. Thankfully after a while he looked back and laughed and later said he wished he had gone up and busted out some bollocks. To tell the truth I really wished he had as well because Chinese opera sounds like a conjunction of a cat being strangled and sexually abused at the same time, basically I see it as performing any random high pitched sound and getting a positive recognition for it. Come to think of it maybe that is what Rich was doing with the girly no.

My brother Brendan provided me with a giggle the other day. He is in the process of applying for uni’s and trying to land himself a decent offer. He has an eye for journalism as he is into drama, music, history and English. So he had a few decent offers and has been going out and about on these uni day things. He had his eye firmly set upon Bournemouth though and for good reason as well. The beaches, the birds, the facilities and the reputation it carries for journalism. Now the morning of what could be considered as one of the more important interviews he will partake in, I am guessing it was not the best time to take Night Nurse. Upon looking down to see what he had just dropped he realised that that Day Nurse packet was in fact a Night Nurse packet and he had just double dropped. When I heard the story I was bent double. How the feck could someone take clinically proven sleeping tablets before the most important interview of their lives to date! He informs me he got through the day after having some cringe worthy moments listening to other candidates speak before thinking, only for him to collapse in the car on the way home, out like a light.

P.S I seen the living legend that is Bjork and my God is she amazing. Big fat rave with fireworks, green laser and a brass band. What more could a boy possibly want?

P.P.S for all who are not familiar with the show Fonejacker please do yourselves a favour and watch it.

Much love, thank you and goodnight

Terry Tibbs

This entry was posted on Monday, March 3rd, 2008 at 4:40 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.