Hong Kong Blog

The phrase ‘never make the same mistake twice’ is one I should probably analyse so as to make sure I’m completely 100% certain on the matter. The concept is clear enough; it’s just the implementation I seem to be having problems with. Readers of the previous incarnation of the blog will remember that during my first week at the University at Kent I inadvertently wandered into (and became trapped in) a Christian Society meeting for about four hours. Well guess what…

Staring at a computer screen for long periods of the day is something that naturally comes with a job in IT (and indeed many areas of employment in the modern day for that matter). While I’m sure my eyes have built up at least some form of resistance through years of strict personal discipline (UT2004) as well as many long evenings in training (24, Heroes, Lost, Scrubs), I always leave the office during my lunch break and I almost always sit by the water fountain and read. Due to the weight restriction aboard international flights unfortunately I was only able to travel with quite a small number of books and after finishing them I went in search of a public library – specifically, one with the first Harry Potter novel on-shelf so that I could start at the beginning. Using the online ‘Hong Kong public library catalogue’ I found two or three potential destinations, geared up and set off.

The first place I arrived in - ‘Lok Fu’ - was the closest being only one stop on the Kwun Tong Line, however it was actually chosen because the first part of the name sounded like Simon’s surname and was followed by (Kung) Fu! It would be a good nickname I feel if it weren’t for the already established: ‘Lockster’, ‘Si’, or ever popular ‘Pesto Monster’. Despite the obvious quality the name promised, my first impression of Lok Fu was that I’d walked through a portal into the aftermath of a recent nuclear blast. No, buildings and people weren’t suddenly demolecularising in front of me, but the area was fairly rundown and when I asked a local whether he could direct me to the library, he nodded, flashed me a dazzling smile consisting of two teeth and started walking towards a deserted alley which I could see from the entrance resulted in a dead-end. My guide was obviously a little mistaken and so instead of repeating the question I decided to run back to the station. Quite quickly.

Instead of risking another Lok Fu I decided to consult my team at work before heading to another library and headed towards the streets of the thankfully more familiar Mong Kok. Mong Kok is a place Joe and I have talked about in previous entries; it’s name in Chinese means ‘flourishing/busy corner’ and according to Guinness World Records it has the highest population density in the world. After a little look around comparing the prices of various electronic devices, I noticed a number of people setting up for a musical performance off to the side in the shade. Apparently it was free to sit and listen to and was due to start it only a couple of minutes. Perfect! As I sat down I was approached by two smiling ladies who handed me a sheet of paper with the material they would be playing (all in Cantonese) as well as a drink and a free gift. This was great! One of them asked if she could sit next to me, and of course I replied that she could. As most people do, she first asked where I was from, what I was doing in Hong Kong, where I was staying and how I was finding the region. Unlike any other person before her though, she then went on to ask if I knew who certain people were. ‘Do you know Jesus?’, she asked me. There are of course two or three possible responses to such a question, but after a moment’s hesitation I opted for ‘of course I know Jesus! Popular guy’. Whether or not this answer was lost in translation will ever remain a mystery as I was handed another free gift – a bracelet. Apparently the bracelet highlighted everything we (myself, this lovely lady and Christianity) believed in. It had a black bead for the sin on Jesus’ heart, a red one for his blood and sacrifice, a white one for something or another and also a blue one clearly for Chelsea Football Club. I was informed that after the concert there would be a few inspiring words and some ‘magic’ performed by a local Sister, to which I replied that ‘all magic is God’s work’ to which she nodded emphatically. We obviously had a connection. Thankfully as the music started she turned her attention to another member of the crowd, and for the second time in one day I found myself heading quickly towards a train station.

A couple of days later, acting on the advice of my team I headed towards Hong Kong Central Library (which isn’t actually in Cental, go figure). The library is actually located in Causeway Bay and is an absolutely beautiful twelve story building, which is complete with three glass-walled elevators, a café and surely as many DVDs as there are books. After registering using my new Hong Kong ID card (or rather piece of paper which is given prior to the collection of the card), I reserved three or four books and headed back home.

Unfortunately earlier on this week I began to feel a little ill. Si ‘Lok Fu’ has always been under the impression that illness is as much in the mind as it is in the body, and while I see a certain merit to his philosophy I don’t believe it’s applicable in two circumstances: bullet wound to the head or a really bad tummy ache. And so it was that on Tuesday I emailed my manager to inform him that I was unfit to work and a couple of hours later received a reply saying that that was fine and that he ‘hoped I had a good rest’. And then I read the next line. ‘Please remember to bring in your medical certificate with you tomorrow’. A medical certificate?! Disaster! I hauled myself out of bed, put on the nearest clothes I could grab and walked extremely feebly down the corridor and towards the elevator. This week the University term is starting up again and so living in halls, this means most of the new students are moving into their residence. As the elevator door opened I was greeted by two shining faces and was introduced to ‘Britney from Colorado!’ and her friend. Unfortunately they failed to realize that I was effectively delirious with pain, suffering from lack of sleep and in no fit state whatsoever to have a pleasant conversation about nothing in particular with two complete strangers. All in all things were very awkward. And we only had to go down two floors.

Somehow I managed to make it to City University (taking about four times longer than normal) and made my way towards the medical centre. I managed to see a doctor almost immediately who asked me numerous questions including ‘what color is your stool?’ to which I looked down on what I was sitting on and replied ‘red?’ before seeing the worried look on her face and slowly realising that she obviously meant another kind of ‘stool’. Don’t ask why I thought she would be asking about what I was sitting on… hm. Armed with a collection of drugs that would keep a dealer in Columbia in business for a year I spent the rest of the day in bed. The following day, while I only felt a fraction better, I managed to somehow get into work. Needless to say it wasn’t the most productive day and I ended up leaving early. I did however find that there is one other ‘Richard Cohen’ in HSBC! Like Dave Gorman, I feel that meeting this man is essential. It is only a matter of time before I email him. In fact I believe a business meeting to NYC is more than appropriate. On Thursday I felt a little better and in one of the rare free moments I had during the office hours, managed to work out an extremely exciting career path. In only EIGHT promotions I could be the chairman of HSBC! Looking up me, then my manager, then his manager, then his manager the hierarchy is as follows:

IT Student Trainee -> IT Project Manager Futures -> Regional Head of Structured Products -> Global Head of Structured Products -> Global Head of CIBM -> General Manager / CIO -> Group Chief Executive -> Group Chairman

How hard can it be?! Two simple words “you’re promoted”, eight times and that’s it! Easy. After this exciting news and acting on the advice of my Grandpa I went to the Jewish centre in the evening to celebrate and have a dose of chicken soup – ‘Jewish penicillin’. On Friday morning a member of my team presented me with an engraved name tag which every person on the floor has attached to the top of their computer. He remarked that instead of ‘Richard Cohen’ it should have read ‘6+7’ (long story). But at least now that I was feeling well enough to wear contact lenses to work again (instead of glasses), the entire office had stopped calling me Harry Potter!

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 1st, 2007 at 10:40 pm and is filed under Hong Kong. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.