Hong Kong Blog

Hello once again people. I have been up to too much this week, so I was wondering when I would get around to blogging this baby. Anyways no better place to start than with Durian. Widely known and revered in Southeast Asia as the “King of Fruits,” the fruit is distinctive for its large size, unique odour, and a formidable thorn-covered husk. When I say unique odour I mean unique odour. It is forbidden from some establishments such as hotels, subways and airports, including public transportation in Southeast Asia. Believe me this is for good reason! It can be smelt from over a yard away and animals can smell it from over 1 mile away. There are many different descriptions ranging from “…flavour are indescribable. A rich custard highly flavoured with almonds gives the best general idea of it, but there are occasional wafts of flavour that call to mind cream-cheese, onion-sauce, sherry-wine, and other incongruous dishes. Then there is a rich glutinous smoothness in the pulp which nothing else possesses, but which adds to its delicacy…In fact, to eat Durians is a new sensation worth a voyage to the East to experience.” Other descriptions also state “its odour is best described as pig-shit, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock”. I definitely agree with the latter description. It is not so much the smell because I can handle that, it is the taste and what it does to my nervous system when I try to consume it. My face loses all control and I have an unbelievable urge to twitch along with heave and a wanting to tear my digestive tract out. This food is absolutely indescribable, unlike anything I have ever sampled because it is not often I choose to eat pig faeces or chow down on soiled diapers.

Weird and wonderful food. I am definitely not one to shy away from anything, if it needs doing I will do it. Therefore when my mates are daring me to try all these culinary delights I dive straight in at the deep end, this is if above anything just to prove I have the cohones necessary to father half of China. So I have eaten some strange things these last few weeks thanks to my boys Matt & Alan. I personally hate seafood, but Alan will not take no for an answer. Anything I mildly dislike taste-wise, is normally greeted with “No, I think this is good”. So I let Matt twist my arm and bring me to some out of the way old school traditional Jap restaurant with tiny little chairs for tiny little people. I had to laugh when I went in there because talk about sticking out like a sore thumb. Everyone was tiny, dark skinned and meek. I was massive, white and brash. My boys Alan and Matt then proceeded to order some serious amounts of sashimi. The verdict is I bloody love it, eel, salmon, squid’s mouth, the whole lot was bloody gorgeous. The Soya bean sauce and wasabi just complimented everything and I find myself slowly but surely loving it all (except Shrimp which I think can be linked to the original sin and was put on this earth by God to punish and remind us that Adam and Eve were brats!). Just to list quickly what delights have gone down this gullet so far: Chicken’s feet, cow’s stomach, squid + mouth, various fishes, soft chicken bones and pigeon (which by the way is nicer than chicken) J

Darkness has struck! I have been dealt a blow that cannot be rivalled. Jenkin is leaving the company this Sept. This news was about as welcome as a bullet to the head. My main man Jenks is the one who scopes the ‘pretties’ (as he calls them) with me, the one who takes me on guided tours of the diff. floors pointing out the fuxxable ones as he so bluntly puts it, and the one who makes everyday a joy with our long winded bullshit conversations via Lotus Sametime (plus he is a guru as far as problem sorting is concerned on my behalf). I honestly have a bad taste left in my mouth after hearing the news. When he leaves it means it is just me and the boss located behind me where as Jenkin used to sit between us, meaning with no one to protect me from flying notepads and to laugh with me over the verbal abuse my boss shouts down the phone at various people. Do not get wrong I have plenty of other friends here at the company, but Jenkin is my neighbour and not only that he is in a diff. class of workmate. He was my saving grace and now I know he is upping sticks and leaving I am counting the days. Alas the world of work has just got a lot bleaker.

Living like kings. Rich and I got done pretty harsh the other day. His work colleague decided to wind him up and tell him there was a lovely restaurant called Olivers in Central and he should go there to dine with myself. Turns out it was a supermarket, so turning on our heels and cursing his name me and Rich went into the nearest restaurant called Mezz. Once we entered I knew there was trouble. Talk about out of our depth. Everyone was some self-important high-flier with a beauty on his arm, (although I did have Rich on my arm) and Rich and I were the two youngest in there by a clear mile. We obviously were punching way above our weight or just had a rich mummy and daddy. I revelled in the fact though that we were out of our league. I sat back, chilled and proceeded to order one of the most expensive things on the menu, as I thought there goes my days wages. It was one of the most succulent and gorgeous meals I have had to date, but I don’t think I will be in a hurry to go eating in Central anytime in the near future.

Just a couple of more funny things to add:

The most inappropriate TV advert I have ever witnessed in my life. I was on my way to work the other day on the KCR which happens to have TVs onboard to help pass the time. I glanced upward from my musical induced trance (courtesy of my new quality head phones) to see a news report on a starving African village. I saw black face after black face weeping, starving and begging and I began to feel very moved by this sombre sight especially so early in the morning on my way to work. It was then as I was staring into the set thinking how unfortunate some people have it, that I saw the report cut-short by Mickeys trademark ears as an advert for Disneyland came on to the screen. I could not believe this had seriously happened. The news report had not even finished, it’s as if someone had said “Quick pull the plug we are upsetting people” and put Mickey out front to clear things up. Seriously the worst timing I have seen to date.Seen a woman with a slogan ‘Jesus loves you fook’ draped over her wheelchair the other daySeen a real live musical statue the other day. I was walking through the crowd, when a man coming towards me realised there was no easy way out and this was war. So he actually tucked his whole body up into a solid frame and just froze to the spot. Thinking this was hilarious/mildly annoying I joined in the game and refused to move and just froze and stared at him. Good waste of 5 mins of my life it ever there was any.

Bought a PS3 the other day for 211 quid. Talk about dirt cheap, beat that anyone!

Get my Hong Kong ID tomorrow to confirm citizenship. Should be fun.

I thought my boss was coming on to me the other day. He never speaks to anyone but yet broached me with only himself and myself in the office the other day. He then placed his hand on my shoulder and said “I heard you like arseholes”. Completely taken back, I am sure I made a face similar to that as if I had something placed in my one! Again he repeated “I heard you like arseholes”, I started thinking is this a means of promotion? It then became apparent when he said “You know football? I heard you like arseholes”. Ohh I said “Yeah I like Arsenal”. This seems to have given me a shoe in and I am just glad I did not end up spread-eagled on my bosses desk J

People wear Burberry over here too, just they don’t have the norm chip on the shoulder prerequisite of being a chav!

Peace, love and girl power xxx

This entry was posted on Monday, August 20th, 2007 at 4:01 pm and is filed under Hong Kong. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.