Under my umbrella
This week is a gripping action filled adventure. It is a tale of Danger, of Bravery and of Courage. The gods must surely have taken an interest to have allowed me to survive long enough to write this account.
Indeed in what was surely a pre-emptive warning, while on the hunt for Joe’s headphones last weekend we were fortunate enough to meet a famous action movie star! I don’t recall the movie’s title… nor infact his name…… but it was a true honor and privilege. While Joe went to search for the headphones I stood among my fellow fans, waiting patiently for the red curtains to part so that I could catch a glimpse of my hero. After quite a build-up and with my adrenaline now fully pumped, unfortunately rather than emerging from the curtain two men appeared from the left and everyone started clapping, cheering and swooning in that direction. After a brief conference with Joe neither of us could work which of the two everyone was there to see so we decided to leave them all to it.
The next item on the shopping list was a rucksack. Slightly inspired by my sister I suggested to Joe that we stop off at a random station on the MTR in order to further explore Hong Kong and so it was that we arrived at ‘Tsim Sha Tsui’. By each exit of every MTR station they have a list of public buildings, restaurants and tourist attractions in the nearby area and after a brief scan down we decided to head towards the ‘Hong Kong History Museum’ and the ‘Hong Kong Museum of Culture’. About three thousand miles down a huge road with the relentless sun beating down on us we gave up and decided to get some freshly squeezed fruit juice that they were selling on the street instead. For just ten HK Dollars I’m convinced I managed to buy a small piece of heaven. It was in the form of freshly squeezed strawberry juice. I was a little dubious when I read the sign – after all, we’d recently seen a plain purple t-shirt with just the word ‘watermelon’ on so we figured the grasp of English of the local’s might not be sensational - but sure enough and true to their word I was presented (by an angel?) with surely the nicest drink EVER. It is now a very real risk that half my annual salary could be invested in this drink, and it would definitely be counted by this connoisseur as an investment.
Anyway… back on track. Still on cloud nine, I noticed a small somewhat ‘market-like’ shop selling rucksacks down a side street we happened to be walking past. Not being able to speak the local dialect has never once been an asset apart from for humor reasons, however in this situation I had the trump card and went to play it. I picked a bag that I liked and was told it would cost about 300HK Dollars (or around £19). I told the lady that unfortunately I only had 100HK Dollars on me. She looked at me blankly. I looked at her blankly. She continued to look at me. Things were going well. I put the bag down, smiled at her and went to leave when she said in perfect English “ok, ok, 200 for you because we are good friends”. I continued to stare blankly at her showing just my 100 dollar bill and at last she relented. Absolutely beaming I left the small shop not only with a new bag, but also with a new close friend apparently! As Joe has explained in more detail, the friendliness of the local people did not end there. On our return journey to the MTR we were invited into a massage parlor. Well, I say massage parlor… even after Joe and I had said no thank you we were perused down the street by the most dedicated lady I have ever met, who informed us, “we have lovely girl just for you. Four hundred dollar!”. There was no way this was a massage parlor. In a final act of desperation that was truly astonishing she shouted after us, “You will be back! I promise!”. We fled.
Back at HSBC, the leader of my team on the trading floor was to be on a business trip to Singapore for the week and so my manager gave me the opportunity to sit in his seat - “the hotseat” - to see what the other guys in the team were doing and what their jobs entailed. After a fairly hard morning’s tuition (they explained most things they were doing to me while I also continued to work on my project) I left for lunch. When I returned it was as though the world had gone slightly mad and I was the only one who could see it. There, in the middle of the room, was an absolutely gigantic pig and three equally huge baskets of apples and bananas. I did a quick double take; same thing. Something very very strange was definitely going on and so I decided to cautiously approach my team members and ask them WHAT THE HELL. Apparently, the week before I arrived the trading floor had been reorganized and as they explained HSBC was quite a traditional Chinese company, they were now doing a traditional feast. Sounded good to me! Before too long everyone was told that the big boss of the entire floor (HSBC treasurer and head of global markets Asia-Pacific) was going to give a small speech. Of course while some people insisted on remaining by their computers resulting in “Trade Cancelled” cutting her off every so often (which I now go to bed dreaming of), we were all wished the best of luck, happiness and prosperity with the new seating arrangement and were invited to eat as much of the food as we wanted. The apples and bananas were absolutely stunning and so while managing to grab four or five of each, I also made sure to note to the people standing near me that we should change seats every week. They could only agree.
On Thursday the true excitement began. A huge booming voice echoed over the trading floor warning that the Hong Kong observatory had issued a Level 3 ‘storm force wind’ warning. At this level kindergarten children are not supposed to go to school but otherwise working life was to continue as normal. We were all told to check the observatory website regularly and upon leaving to make sure we did so before leaving for work the following morning. On Friday morning we were back to Level 1 and so I left for work. By lunchtime we were back up to Level 3 and then just after 1pm, the whole room went crazy:
THE HONG KONG OBSERVATORY ANNOUNCES THAT THE TROPICAL CYCLONE WARNING SIGNAL NUMBER 8 IS EXPECTED TO BE ISSUED AT OR BEFORE 3:30 P.M. TODAY ( 10 AUGUST 2007 ). WINDS LOCALLY WILL STRENGTHEN FURTHER.
THE GOVERNMENT ADVISES MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC WITH LONG OR DIFFICULT HOME JOURNEYS OR HAVING TO RETURN TO OUTLYING ISLANDS TO BEGIN THEIR JOURNEYS NOW. THE GOVERNMENT IS NOW MAKING ARRANGEMENTS TO RELEASE ITS EMPLOYEES ACCORDINGLY.
ANNOUNCEMENT BY THE EDUCATION BUREAU (EDB) : THE EDB ANNOUNCES THAT CLASSES OF ALL SCHOOLS ARE SUSPENDED TODAY. SCHOOLS SHOULD IMPLEMENT CONTINGENCY MEASURES TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF STUDENTS. THEY SHOULD ENSURE THAT CONDITIONS ARE SAFE BEFORE ALLOWING STUDENTS TO RETURN HOME.
Ahhhhh. At around 2 the room became even crazier as people on the phone started screaming “Hong Kong Exchange closing at 3PM today I repeat, Hong Kong Exchange closing at 3!!”. By this time everyone was going completely mad. My manager told me to pack up my things and to leave immediately because I could face a difficult journey home. He advised me to buy enough food and bottles of water to last for three of four days, and to go home and lock all the windows and doors. I thus fled the trading floor and HSBC’s central headquarters with hundreds of others, to be greeted by four or five TV Cameras who were there filming despite mother nature’s violent demands. I declined any interviews!
I gave Joe a quick call to see if he had also left work and was answered immediately with, “mate, this is awesome!!” Dutifully following my manager’s orders I headed for home quickly as possible. Despite the extreme weather, the MTR trains continued to operate completely normally, which I feel is further testament to the system; I don’t believe London Underground would have. With warnings now absolutely everywhere I managed, God be praised, to keep my cool, to stay calm and composed and made it back to this dormitory alive. In all honesty I think one of our ‘qualities’ as Brit’s is to not really be phased by the weather, and Joe remarked that he’d love to see a random car fly past our window. I looked out of the window at the tropical storm which was now beating ferociously against a cowering floor… and really had to agree. Nothing an umbrella couldn’t protect you from.
Until next time…
Richard ft Jay-Z
August 17th, 2007 at 1:46 am
Mate! That storm sounds absolutely amazing! I wish I could have been there to see you attempting to wrestle against a raging current of 1 billion Chinese people all screaming and panicking as they try to get home and out of the tropical storm!
“I suggested to Joe that we stop off at a random station on the MTR in order to further explore Hong Kong and so it was that we arrived at ‘Tsim Sha Tsui’.”
C’mon, man, you blatantly chose the station with the coolest sounding name! (And very wisely, might I add.)
“it would definitely be counted by this connoisseur as an investment.”
I knew you’d get the hang of this trading shenanigan! I also like the fact that you’re grabbing those rich, fat, local market traders by their wealthy eastern heels and shaking them, mercilessly, for every last penny they have!
On the other side of the planet, you would find Canterbury currently re-populated with Matt and Sarah in their rather nice new house –they have one of those sofa chairs that leans right back and has a foot rest so that, at full reclination, your head is actually a little bit lower than your feet, you’d love it!- in which I managed, the other night, to achieve a whole new level of drunkenness (and the next day, hungover-ness) by drinking so much beer, wine (wetty) and whisky that it actually took a serious effort to focus on the sky to watch the meteor shower.
Other than that, I’m enjoying my rather rapid ascent to 2nd place in the fantasy football league -without the help of the Scum that is Ronaldo, I might add- and am generally going around, saving the lives of beautiful women and killing alien scum.
Keep enjoying China Town, buddy, it already sounds much more exciting than my summer, I’m dead jealous!
Peace out,
Si